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About Other / Hobbyist Simone TuttiFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
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Simone Tutti
Artist | Hobbyist | Other
United States
Current Residence: Aurora CO
Favourite genre of music: rock/alt rock
Favourite photographer: i love many many photographers:)
Favourite style of art: any
Favourite cartoon character: Donatello (TMNT)
Personal Quote: I may not have gone where I intended to go but I think I've ended up where I need to be. ~Doug
My life has been violently disrupted lately.  I don't know why.  I don't know if it was meant to be a wake up call to take better care of myself.  I don't know if it meant I need to do things in the "right order".  Maybe it was meant to make or break my relationship with my amazing boyfriend.  I don't know, and it's infuriating.
I'm trying to find the silver lining:
-i'm finally quitting a job i hate
-more time to make art!
-time to take care of me
-time to organize my life
-time to reconnect with the people that truly matter

so. you're wondering what happened.  about 6 1/2 weeks ago i found out I was pregnant.  Andrew and I were thrilled!  We started planning, figuring out how we'd manage this and that with a baby.  I couldn't take my beloved Ibuprofen anymore and my pain level skyrocketed with my stress level.  I didn't manage those well enough and 2 fridays ago I went to the ER cuz I was bleeding.  6 1/2 weeks along is right on the cusp of a lot of major developments for a fetus.  The ultrasound didn't tell us much.  I left with the instructions to take it easy and not stress...haha.  I kept talking to my tummy, telling my baby that I wanted him (we assumed it was a he), that I needed him, and most importantly that mommy already loved him.  I begged him not to leave me.  Then, last tuesday I woke up with intense cramping and bleeding.  at 7 weeks, that's not ok by any stretch of the imagination.  I knew when I woke up that I was losing my baby.  At 3:30 in the morning, sitting on the toilet in my silent bathroom I told him it'd be ok.  I told him it was ok to go.  I told him that I still loved him but that I understood.  not long after, maybe 45 minutes later, I lost him while I was in the ER.  I knew it.  Fortunately my body took care of everything and i didn't have to get surgery.  I left pretty anemic, pretty sad, and wondering how I'd be able to get through this.
My amazing boyfriend has been invaluable and we have an incredible support system.  I'm still sad and still confused but I know how lucky I am.  I have been so blessed with so many amazing people that have dropped everything to support us through this.  Thank you so much for all you guys have done :)

It hurts to tell the story - like this - unedited.  I feel better now though.  I know that this will lead to many many more works of art.  They'll probably be a little melancholy but I feel better using this pain for something.  Losing this baby broke my heart but I know that something good can still come from it.

Love you all!!!!

"I feel lucky sometimes, I should feel lucky all the time"  ZOX
  • Listening to: ZOX (7th Ave Prophet)
  • Reading: The Fall of Hyperion - Dan Simmons
  • Watching: nada
  • Playing: nada
  • Eating: pasta w/ chicken, marinara, mozz.
  • Drinking: h2o

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GryphonVisArts Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2016
Happy Birthday!
mtnboy64 Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015
GryphonVisArts Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2015
Please contact me.
mtnboy64 Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014
mtnboy64 Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2013
Hope you and your family is safe and staying dry! You all in my prayers!
SimoneTutti Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Thank you! We are :) Hope all is well on your end!
mtnboy64 Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2013
I was able to talk to my mom finally last night. She lives in Berthoud. She is fine and the farm is okay. So yes I am doing better now! :-)
SimoneTutti Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Glad to hear it!
mtnboy64 Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2013
Wow Simone! Great work! Well worth the wait my dear!! I love them all Hard to pick out a good one!herbert83plz 
SimoneTutti Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
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